‘God’ (598 million) is pretty much the only one that’ll beat ‘jesus’ (236 million). It’s quite hard to find a word that’ll beat ‘god’, but unsurprisingly ‘sex’ (767 million) will do it. ‘Money’, at just over 1 billion mentions, beats sex [when I did this with the kids I skipped over 'sex' to 'money', but came back and checked later]. By this time I was starting to get somewhat despondent about the fate of the human race.

The only word I could find that would beat ‘money’ though, was ‘love’. ‘Love’ is mentioned 2.39 billion times on the web. ‘Love’ beats ‘hate’, ‘sex’, ‘money’, ‘drugs’, and ‘god’. My faith in humanity has been restored. Love conquers all.

What is the Quaker Process?

“An attempt to work out Friends’ testimony that there is no division between worship and the rest of life. Contributions come from the deep place of ministry.”

“Responsibility of all, waiting and listening, trying to get the sense of the Meeting/will of God/…”

“Like Meeting for Worship, but with a focus on the business, as directed by God / in the light”

“A gathered Meeting, attending to business in the presence of the Spirit”

“Is based in the centredness of worship, and accords respect and understanding to each contribution in the same way as with spoken ministry”

How do we know when the process is going well?

How do we know afterwards that it has gone well?

the concern continues to evolve
it was a decision no one had in mind when they came to the Meeting
minutes are a joy to read
sometimes we don’t know for years
lack of feedback to clerk
the piece of business doesn’t keep returning

What is the difference between consensus and Quaker business process?

Role of the individual in MFW for Business

Dealing with conflict and disunity

Methods for dealing with conflict/disunity

Creative Listening

give space to others
speak from yourself
use early, when we being to perceive a problem
can be a way of life
to deal with or express as specific issues
to give space for feelings
to allow people really to look at and think about a problem
for sharing experience
to allow the uncovering of something important/of concern to a person which isn’t always obvious ie to help someone through an issue

Mediation

Listening
mediator trusted by both sides, go between
clear mediation process, agreed by both parties
allowing conflict to happen
might be used when:
clear issue
specific topic
later when other methods have been used
not involve whole meeting
smaller groups

Worship sharing

Clearness Meeting

Uses:
for marriage concerns
provide individuals clearness and strength
discerning a way forward
canadian YFs often use for personal problems
can be used for membership concerns
used to mend unhappiness
retirement concerns
perhaps should use more, useful for Meetings
urgent crises, clarifications

Resources

Web Sites:

http://quakerquaker.org – A community of blogs and social media about Friends

http://speakingtruth.org – an online gathering place for powerful and transformative audio-media from all branches of the Quaker tradition

http://www.quaker.org.nz/blogs/yfs – Aotearoa NZ Young Friends blog

http://www.skype.com – free Internet based phone and audio conferencing software

Books:

“When Friends attend to business”, Thomas Brown

“Practicing Discernment Together” by Lon Fendall, Jan Wood, Bruce Bishop (Barclay Press)

“Beyond Consensus – salvaging sense of the Meeting”, Barry Morley

“Gospel Order – a Quaker understanding of faithful church community”, Sandra Cronk

“Spiritual Discernment – the context and goal of clearness committees”, Patricia Loring

“Beyond Majority rule – voteless decisions in the Religious Society of Friends”, Michael J. Sheeran

Feedback

Ideas for next time
role play – more of them
seminar on conflict resolution or mediation
info shared
more specific details
do it again north/south

Quaker Talk – www-Quaker-Training.com – Stop Your Quaker’s Bad Behavior Train Your Quaker – Fast & Easy!

If only it were that simple…

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in a world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

Mohammed Ali

I should feel sad but I just don’t. I don’t even feel quite the sense of completion I thought I might. I simply feel content, sure and happy with the experience having unfolded exactly in the way it did.

This path I began in 2004 has filled my life with love I had never envisaged or expected. The connection to these people has become not so much an experience, or something I posses, but just part of who I am, part of the fabric of this wonderful life.

To me this camp felt gentle, warm, calm as a slow moving river in the middle of summer. We sang, ate, worked and worshiped. I laughed with these beautiful people in the springtime of their lives.

Meeting the son of my first love and getting to know him as a friend was an unexpected pleasure. Seeing him instantly accepted by others as if he’d been coming for years filled my heart with a sense of joy I find it difficult to describe.

Even as some things come to an end new things begin.

Meeting Emily from Canberra and realizing we have a whole lifetime of Quaker events, conversations and sharing ahead of us made saying goodbye the start of something rather than the end. It seemed fitting that she was the last person I said farewell to at the airport.

I know now that ending my participation in YF business and YF camps doesn’t mean ending these friendships, or being in some way part of this community as it flows into the wider Quaker world.

When YF Camp finished four of us cycled to the train in Masterton. The day shone as we rode through the rolling hills, and I could think of no place I would rather be. Riding with friends in the sun, sharing our journey for a way, and knowing that in time we will share it again.

When I was in Sydney last week I found this was much harder. There was so much litter it would have taken me twice as long to get anywhere. I ended up not picking up any as it just didn’t seem like I’d be making any sort of dent in it. Over a couple of days it faded into the background and I stopped noticing it at all.

Another thing that was different from the NZ cities I spend time in was the number of homeless people. Not just in the parks but lying down on footpaths, sitting in gutters, shaking and bereft while hundreds of people walked past them every few minutes.

While out for a run it struck me that the problem is the same. While there are probably a similar number of homeless people per capita in Christchurch and Sydney, in a densely populated city you just see more of them every day. Because they seem more numerous a type of ‘learned helplessness’ sets in among the people that could help. There are just so many homeless people, what difference could one act of kindness really make? So people go about their busy days, and before too long the people lying in the gutter just fade into the background.

People are not litter. They do not deserve to be cast aside, forgotten and alone. What can we do to pick up those whom others have dropped? What are the small things we could do everyday? What would the world be like if even one in every ten people picked up a few pieces of litter, and did something to help the less fortunate among us?

I welcomed them and asked them to sit in silence while we waited for Rhea to be escorted in by her father. The musician played, the birds sang in the trees high above, and the wind wafted forcefully around us. Thomas and I stood, smiling at each other and the group. As the seconds drew out, and the tension grew I said silently in my mind to Thomas, “relax my friend, she’ll come”.

With a collective breath out of relief, heads turning, and admiring smiles the guests watched as Rhea walked in slowly, well supported by the steady right arm of her father. He carefully led her up onto the platform, Thomas took her hands, his eyes shining, and they stood facing each other.

I addressed the assembled group and explained how the ceremony would unfold. It felt good to be there, confident and sure, speaking strongly so my voice would carry over the wind and the noise of the swaying trees. The words I spoke were both Thomas’ and mine, his poetry held within my structure. I described the silent worship part of the ceremony:

“After the exchange of vows, as in a Quaker Meeting, we will wait in silence until we may feel compelled to speak. If you are moved to speak, please leave some silence between yourself and the previous speaker. Everyone is welcome to share, however this is not speech-making time, there will be plenty of time for that later on. Rather this is a special and sacred space for a deep and soulful pondering on the nature of love and commitment, and on Rhea and Thomas as a couple. We ask that if you do feel called to speak, or sing, or pray, or recite, that you do so from the heart, and in all your honesty.”

I concluded my introduction, sat down in the front row, and silence fell. Rhea and Thomas looked at each other, and I could see the emotions pass over his face. Excitement, trepidation, and a rising calm as he let go and he waited for the spirit to move him. Dappled sunlight fell upon them, the wind stilled, and the wings of a kereru beat the air above. Thomas spoke his vows to Rhea, love welling up on his face as he passionately committed his life to hers. The honesty with which he spoke, the integrity of his love, and the sureness of his voice moved me deeply. Rhea spoke next, more quietly.

Rings followed, silence, and ministry from Thomas’ sister, Rhea’s father, and two friends. That they felt confident to share, each moved according to their own fashion, and conveying the full emotion of their feelings, made me very glad. In the absence of a priest Thomas gave himself permission to kiss Rhea. I declared them married, and the musicians sang a beautiful song as the couple walked off the platform and down the aisle.

Rhea and Thomas, you blessed me greatly in asking me to facilitate your marriage ceremony. It is an experience I will never forget. Seeing the strength of your love for each other, and the unfettered honesty with which you voiced it is an example to us all. May your life be filled with joy.

So, the day after SG ended, I was very pleased to realise it was a Sunday, and we were staying in Mt Eden, just minutes from the Meeting House. When I walked in to Meeting that morning, I saw people I had hugged goodbye the day before, not expecting to see for weeks or months.

At Summer Gathering I ran a session entitled ‘Dangerous Quakers’. This was inspired by a blog post by Peggy Senger Parsons, a Friend from the US. The session was about the way Quakers are often dangerous in the sense they are disruptive to the forces of oppression and inequality. They are dangerous to those who promote war and injustice as solutions to the world’s problems. This often involves Friends placing themselves in danger, in terms of their income, their liberty, their safety or even their lives. This willingness to sacrifice (aspects of) oneself for a greater truth has a power that Ghandi described as satyagraha, or ‘truth force’. I was very interested in how people tell whether they are being dangerous in this sense, or just reckless. How they tell whether what they are feeling is a calling from the Spirit, or just a ‘bee in their bonnet’.

During the session the importance of the people and Meetings that support those called came up several times. This is both in helping individual Friends listen to and discern their leadings, and in supporting their resulting actions. Coming into Meeting for Worship in Mt Eden made me realise yet again that it is the everpresent community of Friends that enables some of our number to head the call of the Spirit and do things that are dangerous.

I must admit there were a few phrases from the carols we sang that I hummed along with rather than sang out loud, in particular references to the virgin birth, and Jesus as ‘Lord’. There was one fantastic carol that I was very happy to sing right through though, a modern interpretation of the 12 Days of Christmas, called “12 Days of Christmas in New Brighton”.

“On the 12th day of Christmas we all shared together peace and goodwill for all to share, 11 excited children, 10 dancing pirates, 9 carol singers, 8 local artists, 7 sausages a sizzling, 6 sand castles, 5 expressions of love, 4 moments of joy, 3 vigils for peace, 2 messages of hope, and a great love for all to share. “

This one was an interview with Bishop John Spong. He is a liberal theologian and has written many books, including recently Jesus for the Non-Religious. His views resonated very closely with mine.

Historically agreed facts he cites:

1. Jesus lived between 4 BC and 30 AD
2. The gospels were written between 70 and 100 AD
3. The gospels were written in Greek, a language that neither Jesus nor his apostles spoke
4. The gospels were written by people who had never met Jesus, and were going on two or three generations of stories passed down by word of mouth

Bishop Spong argues that the literalist interpretation of Jesus as a supernatural figure in the Bible, capable of performing miracles, leaves people today with only two alternatives (at least from the point of view of the Christian tradition) . To be hysterical irrational fundamentalists, or to give the whole thing up as a lost cause and be secular. He thinks it’d be nice if there was something in between that was possible. An interpretation of Jesus that sees him as a man who was so open, so fully human that he was able to be so utterly filled with the energy of the Universe, the ground of being, the divine spirit, what Quakers call the inner light.

This is the Jesus I want to believe in. I want to believe that it is possible for any human to be as filled with the spirit as Jesus. To me it is so much more impressive that he did this as a man, rather than as a supernatural being with special powers.

Bishop Spong also talks about prayer, critical of prayers that are ‘adult letters to a Santa Claus God’. Rather, he sees prayer as a way to become more human, more open to the spirit.

Again, this is very close to the way I see prayer and worship, a way inward, to walk on the journey toward being more fully human. To me the historical Jesus is a guide on this path, someone who walked it with integrity, insight and love.

* if the podcast is gone by the time you read this it’s because National Radio only keep their podcasts up there for 3 months or so. If you’d like a copy of it just email me.