The following are the notes from the Quaker Processes Seminar I helped facilitate on 25-27 July 2008, at the Quaker Settlement, Whanganui
What is the Quaker Process?
“An attempt to work out Friends’ testimony that there is no division between worship and the rest of life. Contributions come from the deep place of ministry.”
“Responsibility of all, waiting and listening, trying to get the sense of the Meeting/will of God/…”
“Like Meeting for Worship, but with a focus on the business, as directed by God / in the light”
“A gathered Meeting, attending to business in the presence of the Spirit”
“Is based in the centredness of worship, and accords respect and understanding to each contribution in the same way as with spoken ministry”
How do we know when the process is going well?
| Peaceful feeling things flow trust the process no rumblings people feel heard & understood relaxing of shoulders benign body language, smiling and nodding of heads |
depth of worship sense of rightness not for us to judge Friends will be in friendship the clerk has been able to get a sense of the Meeting Whanaungatanga (making of a family) |
How do we know afterwards that it has gone well?
the concern continues to evolve
it was a decision no one had in mind when they came to the Meeting
minutes are a joy to read
sometimes we don’t know for years
lack of feedback to clerk
the piece of business doesn’t keep returning
What is the difference between consensus and Quaker business process?
| Consensus | MFW for Business |
| Agreement – minority gave way best decision everyone is prepared to live with building into decision as many needs as can be accommodated less alienation (than voting) often not well done based on individual views compromise surprise decision |
Unity in spirit common ground of testimonies ability to stand aside from minute but all responsible for forwarding minute surprise decision search for way Meeting is being led more willingness to wait – for “way to open” |
| Facilitator Alignment/agreement to proceed power of individual to stop agreement of those present rational level of awareness |
Clerk if not in unity – status quo remains potential of transforming power deeper level sought after |
| Interminable discussion individuals the people with room for compromise majority has weight active processes to build consensus usually involves consultation |
Hopefully more crisp terminable without consensus corporate with divine something beyond ourselves the spirit with no room for compromise or bargain majority should not have weight – not what it’s about formal consent – if it had really mattered you would have stopped it |
| All agree same understanding unlike Parliament most people will speak more than once generally involves much debate and chit chat decision come to based on people’s opinion doesn’t necessarily mean everyone is happy with decision (can be same for MFW for Business) |
People can stand aside – don’t agree but won’t stand in the way factor light/god extra in the room comes out of the silence generally people only speak once not debate and chit chat between members (generally) decision that are come to are grounded in Quaker principles can stop talking and ask for silence to refocus on the spirit if disagreement – leave issue and come back to later |
Role of the individual in MFW for Business
| No side chatting holding others to account don’t sit on something leave ego in the carpark look for widest relevant context concentrate engaged heart and mind prepared done homework keep a sense of worship |
develop a ‘nose’ for manipulation offer my experience and information, but no ego represent absent Friends’ points of view be proactive listen carefully self disciple uphold Clerk while they’re writing a minute |
Awareness of others prepared to change my mind asking for silence when appropriate/needed avoid bombast Speak once, and sparingly If God prods, speak Put your point don’t heavy/push/persuade/preempt holding vigilance |
Dealing with conflict and disunity
| What is conflict in a Meeting? | What is disunity in a Meeting? |
| Different strong views forcibly expressed when no listening or understanding of the views opportunity to grow in unity absence of love not talking |
Illusion unease doesn’t feel like illusion cheap unity misunderstanding statement of facts that have no basis that of god in others not recognised |
| Disagreement (passionate) disharmony derogeratory opinions hostility reactive outbursts refusal to accept outcomes inappropriate repetitive behaviour can be creative |
Not in alignment unwillingness |
| Can be less overt than elsewhere – low level muttering clumps of people talking together and making allies people stay away, stop coming defensiveness, loss of trust outbursts of anger, frustration business not done well |
Division of opinion, particularly about decision post or pending can start as disunity and grow to conflict longer lasting that ‘not yet in unity’ – where processes not building unity Affects the state of the meeting |
| You just know divergent views that their holders can’t adapt/resolve can be visible or underlying and ongoing eg different views on right ministry can be a means of growth can go along with respect |
Can be concealed can grow from unresolved conflict, lack of skill in using rather than abusing imbalance eg a group with needs not met, personalities unbalanced a group driving a particular agenda eg property related power imbalance people don’t respect one another people aren’t open to change |
Methods for dealing with conflict/disunity
| Speaking plainly prepared confrontation mediation publicly reminding ourselves of our methods, role of clerk, self discipline phone calls (lots) understanding the person/group and issue worship naming the conflict calling on Elders (and on Elders from other Meetings) providing information giving time |
creative listening a Listening Meeting asking for silence worship sharing role reversal not talking informal social time getting together gossip Clearness Meeting Therapy raising an issue in a meeting not open to all / in a smaller forum |
Creative Listening
give space to others
speak from yourself
use early, when we being to perceive a problem
can be a way of life
to deal with or express as specific issues
to give space for feelings
to allow people really to look at and think about a problem
for sharing experience
to allow the uncovering of something important/of concern to a person which isn’t always obvious ie to help someone through an issue
Mediation
Listening
mediator trusted by both sides, go between
clear mediation process, agreed by both parties
allowing conflict to happen
might be used when:
clear issue
specific topic
later when other methods have been used
not involve whole meeting
smaller groups
Worship sharing
| Based in worship listening space to speak given and respected no criticism or comments given time and attention safety to speak akin to ministry MFW but themed Can have great depth adaptable to size of group maintenance tool |
Uses: part of a clearness meeting when wish to go below the surface spiritual nurture support group useful tool to make sure all are heard wonderful way of honest sharing and deep listening, a uniting effect to heal disunity |
Clearness Meeting
| Deep listening small and nonthreatening supportive, guidance MFW but with a smaller group not too pressuring can bring/choose trusted friends to attend assists the individual non judgmental Soundboard off the group |
similar to mediation (more spiritual perhaps) uses time out / silence can be a threshing meeting resolution, unlike creative listening kind of like spiritual nurture support group, listing supporting, helping, the way forward can be hard to do if without help sometimes doesn’t work, not used properly |
Uses:
for marriage concerns
provide individuals clearness and strength
discerning a way forward
canadian YFs often use for personal problems
can be used for membership concerns
used to mend unhappiness
retirement concerns
perhaps should use more, useful for Meetings
urgent crises, clarifications
Resources
Web Sites:
http://quakerquaker.org – A community of blogs and social media about Friends
http://speakingtruth.org – an online gathering place for powerful and transformative audio-media from all branches of the Quaker tradition
http://www.quaker.org.nz/blogs/yfs – Aotearoa NZ Young Friends blog
http://www.skype.com – free Internet based phone and audio conferencing software
Books:
“When Friends attend to business”, Thomas Brown
“Practicing Discernment Together” by Lon Fendall, Jan Wood, Bruce Bishop (Barclay Press)
“Beyond Consensus – salvaging sense of the Meeting”, Barry Morley
“Gospel Order – a Quaker understanding of faithful church community”, Sandra Cronk
“Spiritual Discernment – the context and goal of clearness committees”, Patricia Loring
“Beyond Majority rule – voteless decisions in the Religious Society of Friends”, Michael J. Sheeran
Feedback
| What went well Length of each session good handouts interaction in little groups well prepared facilitators variety of facilitators and different activities good to go around in different groups (except for the scribes) presence and participation of YFs depth of experience the way that the experience was drawn out great group of people photos of whiteboard |
What could be improved weather was cold white board pens – need more a lot of sitting making sure ideas are captured |
Ideas for next time
role play – more of them
seminar on conflict resolution or mediation
info shared
more specific details
do it again north/south
